What are parasocial relationships?

Have you ever found yourself rooting for a celebrity or influencer as if they were your best friend—cheering their wins and feeling their struggles—even though you’ve never met them? That’s the essence of a parasocial relationship: a one-sided emotional bond with a public figure who has no personal connection to you.

While parasocial relationships have existed for decades (think pop idols, TV stars, or even infamous prisoners), social media has taken them to a whole new level. Platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube make influencers feel accessible, relatable, and even interactive, blurring the lines between fans and friends. For teenagers, these connections can feel incredibly real—a quick reply or like from an influencer can make their day.

Why are teenagers so drawn to parasocial relationships?

Teenagers are naturally at a stage where they’re figuring out who they are and where they belong. With so much of their time spent on social media, influencers easily step into this space, offering guidance, comfort, and inspiration. Here some reasons that makes these bonds so powerful:

• Authenticity: Influencers share their personal struggles, making them appear approachable and relatable.
• Relatability: Teens often view influencers as aspirational—like a more glamorous version of themselves.
• Interactive Features: A simple “like” or reply from an influencer can feel validating, reinforcing the illusion of a real connection.

This trust makes teens more likely to adopt influencers’ opinions, values, and even the products they endorse, often without questioning their authenticity. Teens are more susceptible to adopting influencers’ values, and opinions, or even buying into their product endorsements.

The positive and negative impacts of parasocial relationships

Positive effects:

1. Inspiration
   For example, Greta Thunberg has inspired millions of young people to take action on climate change. By sharing her journey, she empowers teens to make sustainable choices, join protests, or start their own eco-friendly initiatives.
2. A sense of community
   Influencers who promote body positivity create safe spaces where teens can connect with others facing similar struggles. These communities foster belonging, helping teens feel confident in their individuality.
3. Learning opportunities
   Educational influencers make learning accessible and relatable. For instance, mental health advocates share practical tips like mindfulness exercises, while financial influencers teach teens how to manage their money. This content equips teenagers with tools they can use in their daily lives.

Negative Effects:

1. Unrealistic standards
Social media influencers often present a curated version of their lives, which can lead teens to harmful comparisons. The “looksmaxxing” trend, as reported by the BBC, shows how some teens, especially boys, become obsessed with meeting extreme beauty standards. This trend can lead to unhealthy behaviours like excessive dieting or even considering cosmetic surgery.

2. Consumer pressure
Many influencers promote luxury products without clear disclosure that they’re sponsored. For example, beauty influencers often glamorize expensive skincare routines. Teens may feel pressured to buy these products, thinking they’re necessary to look good, even if it’s beyond their budget.

3. Identity confusion and radicalisation
While teenagers explore who they are and what they believe, parasocial relationships can complicate this, especially when influencers promote harmful ideologies. Take Andrew Tate, for example. His content, glorifying toxic masculinity and hyper-materialism, appeals to young men but often encourages sexism, unhealthy power dynamics, and distorted self-worth tied to wealth. For teens, his flashy lifestyle might seem aspirational, but it risks pushing them toward radicalised beliefs, straining relationships, and fostering hostility.

Why parasocial relationships are riskier for teenagers

Gender-Specific patterns:

Teenagers are at a vulnerable stage in life, exploring their social identity and seeking validation. Parasocial relationships often fill this void as well, by offering role models who appear relatable and inspiring but may unintentionally set unrealistic expectations.

Girls: Influencers in beauty, fashion, and lifestyle often promote unattainable beauty standards and hyper-materialism, pressuring girls to prioritize appearance over substance. These messages can perpetuate body image issues, self-doubt, and the idea that their value lies in how they look or what they own.

Boys: Boys may gravitate toward influencers in gaming or humour, but they’re often exposed to toxic competitiveness and hyper-masculine ideals. Influencers promoting dominance, aggression, or performance-based self-worth reinforce restrictive ideas of masculinity, leaving little room for vulnerability or self-expression.

How parents and educators can help

Parasocial relationships aren’t inherently bad—they can even be a positive force in a teen’s life if approached with the right guidance. The goal isn’t to shut these relationships down but to help teens engage with them thoughtfully and critically. With a bit of effort, you can turn these connections into opportunities for growth rather than sources of harm.

Practical tips to support teens:

1. Teach media literacy
   Teach media literacy by helping your teen understand that social media isn’t always genuine. Explain how influencers curate and filter their content, often promoting products through paid sponsorships without clear disclosures. Encourage them to think critically about what they see and question authenticity in the influencer world.

• “Do you think they’d still recommend this product if they weren’t paid?”
• “What do you think their life looks like when the camera’s off?”

Helping teens ask these questions can make them savvier, more mindful consumers of online content.

2. Encourage open dialogue
   Instead of lecturing about the dangers of social media, take a genuine interest in the influencers your teen admires. Ask open-ended questions like:

• “What do you like about them?”
• “Do they inspire you in any way?”
• “Do you think there’s anything about their content that might be exaggerated or unrealistic?”

This approach not only shows that you respect their opinions but also creates space for meaningful conversations about values, self-worth, and authenticity. Remember, teens are more likely to listen if they feel heard first.

3. Promote balance
   If your teen spends hours scrolling through Instagram or TikTok, it’s easy to see how that might become their whole world. Help them strike a healthier balance by encouraging offline activities:

• Suggest hobbies like painting, cooking, or sports as a fun alternative to screen time.
• Invite them to join family outings or participate in community events.

Rather than banning screen time outright (a surefire way to spark rebellion), show them how enriching offline experiences can be. For example:

• “How about we bake that recipe you saw on TikTok together?”
• “Want to try that style of dance your favourite influencer does, but in a local class?”

The bottom line

Parasocial relationships are a natural part of growing up in today’s social media world. Instead of banning social media or vilifying influencers, stay involved, show empathy, and support your teen as they navigate these connections. Equip them with critical thinking tools to engage confidently online. Remember, while influencers may capture their attention, you remain the most impactful role model in their life. Your guidance can make all the difference.